Shikrot Mpwi - Sunday Synopsis with Fr. Justine J. Dyikuk

Twenty Third Sunday of the Year, A – September 10, 2017

Readings: Ezekiel 33:7-9; Responsorial Psalm Ps 95:2.6-7abc.7d-9(R.7d,8a);

 Rom 13:8-10 & Gospel Matthew 18:15-20.

Theme: Let Go & Let God

Introduction

Beloved in Christ, this Sunday’s Gospel (Mt 18:15-20) provides us with a fourfold blueprint for conflict management.  This recipe for settling conflicts which Jesus presents include: Talking to the person alone, taking one or two trustworthy persons, reporting to the community and treating the person as a pagan or tax collector. As we reflect on the implications of this submission, we shall consider conflict and its types, the possible causes of conflict in society, Jesus’ strategy for conflict management vis-à-vis contemporary strategies in conflict management as well as some take-home lessons.

Conflict and its types

Since there is conflict about how to define conflict, conflict is the misunderstanding that occurs among people as a result of language barrier, differences, perceived fears, anxieties and unresolved external or internal pressures.

Social Conflicts arise when one or two have incompatible interests which causes struggle between them; Intercultural Conflicts are tensions that occur between people of different cultural backgrounds; Pseudo Conflicts take place when people disagree based on perceptions and misunderstanding and Genuine Conflicts exist as part of the natural human condition.

Organisational Conflicts, arise due to disagreement or debate among people in an organisation based on issues and values not personality. Types of Organisational Conflicts include, Latent Conflict which occur due to ccompetition for scarce resources, drive for autonomy, and divergence of sub-unit goals; Perceived Conflict, which involve issues in an organisation which pose as time-bomb which if not properly handled, can lead to a disaster; Felt Conflict involve personal conflicts which are actually felt and recognised; Manifest Conflict are conflicts that happen between two parties which evokes negative or positives responses. Accordingly, Conflict Aftermath entails all negative or positive attempts to resolve a conflict.

Possible Causes of Conflicts

1. Undue Competition: Undue competition in the family, school premises, business environment, work-place and church often leads to rivalry and dissension in the society. This has been identified as the cause of most conflicts in the world.

2. Overt Selfishness: One of the greatest challenges which most human beings are guilty of is selfishness – what Bishop KUKAH calls myownised mentality. The adultery, murder, theft and covetousness which St. Paul warns about in the second reading (Rom. 13:8-1) are committed due to selfishness.

3. Excessive Materialism: Most economic problems and financial instability in society occur due to the rat race mentality which sees material possessions as panacea to all human problems. The evil effects of excessive materialism are seen in murder cases which take place as a result of fights for land or other forms of family inherence.  

4. Poor Communication: The most common cause of conflict in any group is poor communication. Poor communication ranges from lack of understanding the other person or misinterpreting him or her. Lack of feedback mechanism is also tied to poor communication. Where people are paranoid, there is bound to be conflict.  

5 Differences in Personality and Values: Difference in personality traits or value orientation often causes conflict in any society. Failure to realize that MR. A has a different temperament from MR. B breeds conflict. Inability to understand and appreciate the value orientations of people such as family, educational, cultural, religious and political persuasions brings about conflict and even wars.

Jesus’ Strategy for Conflict Management

1. Dyadic or Interpersonal Approach: In the face of conflict, Jesus insists on sorting it out alone with the person as a first step. Talking to the person alone falls under dyadic or interpersonal approach which emanates from intrapersonal communication – resolving within oneself to seek reconciliation with an aggrieved party. He notes that if the person listens, it means you have won back your brother or sister and the case is closed. If that doesn’t work, the next step becomes necessary.    

 

2. Group Approach: The next stage, group approach comes from group communication which is a communication that takes place in small groups of three above. The group approach involves taking one or two trustworthy people with you to see that the conflict is resolved. The presence of these persons is necessary because they are to serve as witnesses as well as intercessors or plea bargainers. Jesus stresses that if the second step doesn’t work, a third step should be taken.

3. Social or Ecclesial Approach: Accordingly, Jesus says, if the first two approaches do not work, the matter should be reported to the community which brings us to the social approach. For instance, if we fail in resolving a conflict with anybody in the church, the matter may be reported to any of the pious societies like the Catholic Charismatic Renewal, Legion of Mary or Christian Fathers. Here, priests, counselors, confidants or mentors could be approached to help out in settling the case.

4. Multi-Dimensional Approach: The last approach which Jesus presents us with namely, “treat him like a pagan or a tax collector,” has often been misinterpreted to mean that we should isolate or relegate arrow-heads in conflict. On the contrary, what Jesus means is that we should employ a multi-dimensional approach which involves treating these persons with more love and attention in order to win them back – Jesus demands that we use every means possible in bringing back those who are isolated from the Christian community by forgiving them and reconciling them to the fold.

Contemporary Strategies in Conflict Management

1. Collaboration: As individuals, members of the church and the larger society, collaboration is critical to resolving conflicts. We must learn to dig deep into the issues that cause conflict by identifying them to find alternatives of satisfying everyone’s concern. That means that we must appreciate exploring disagreements by learning from each other’s insights.

2. Compromise: Comprise entails finding a middle ground in any conflict. To achieve that, it is important to accept and adjust to one another’s differences based on the demands of biblical love. The inability to accept the worldview of others arising from differences in background and personality often times lead to arguments and quarrels. Compromise also involves defeating selfishness through accepting the fact that people are different so as to achieve a pluralistic society.

3. Communication: In the family, pious society in the church or various communities, we can learn to talk about our challenges in order to arrive at solutions so as to avoid the same problems in the future. Instead of waiting for the other person to start the peace-talk, take a bold step to win the other person over (Romans 12:18). 

4. Commitment: For us to live in peace, we must be committed to admit our faults. This requires open loving confrontation – a situation where both parties feel the other person is a good friend who will listen, understand and work through any problem or conflict. This also involves confronting the person who has wronged you with grace, tactful wisdom, patience and humility. This can be accessed through returning a blessing for an insult and being kind and tender hearted (1 Peter 3:8-9).

5. Courage: Only courageous people initiate reconciliation or forgive. In Ephesians chapter 4:26-27, Saint Paul admonishes that it is not good to nurse anger until sunset. Courage requires a conscious effort of constructing boundaries of well-being meant to protect our family, church and society. If we avoid character assassination, hate speeches and winner takes it all mentality, we would be able to realize reciprocal-respect and peace in the society.

Take-home Lessons

1. We are called to stay clear of all negative ways of handling conflicts such as gossip, revenge, cold-shouldering and unhealthy competition.

2. We are challenged to try our best in winning our brothers and sisters who are seemingly lost to save our neck as the first reading (Ezekiel 33:7-9) indicates.

3. Today’s liturgy urges us to allow ourselves be drawn by the strings of unconditional love (John 3:16).

4. The Gospel (Matthew 18:15-19) calls us to embrace fraternal correction as a build-up from the message of the first reading (Ezekiel 33:7-9) which says, failure to correct the wicked is culpability on our own part.

5. In our second reading (Romans 13:8-10) St. Paul says, “love is the answer to every one of the commandments” which implies letting go our hurts to let God operate in our hearts.

Homiletic Quotes to Remember

ü  Our liturgy challenges us to LET GO and LET GOD.

ü   It challenges us to develop FRATERNAL CHARITY which Jesus speaks about as a foremost agenda in handling conflicts.

ü  Christians are called upon to resort to the parish office for setting their differences rather than shamelessly turning to diabolical means, taking each other to the courts, police stations or even pay hoodlums to beat up fellow parishioners.

ü  Conflict is almost always part of any society which is why conflict management as a phrase is preferable to conflict resolution which gives the impression that conflict can be eradicated.

Conclusion

How do we correct our own children? Do we criticize our political and religious leaders outrightly? Do we gossip about our neighbour? Do we feel the drunkard/alcoholic, womanizer, drug-addict, abortionist, ritualist are already condemned? Christ calls us to love unconditionally. Our liturgy demands that we correct with a brotherly and sisterly spirit so as to draw the wayward and the awful sinner back to Christ. Have a terrific week ahead.

NB: Thanks for all your best wishes to me on my birthday (9/06/2017). May God bless you all.