Shikrot Mpwi - Sunday Synopsis with Fr. Justine J. Dyikuk

27^th Sunday of the Year, B – October 7, 2018.

Readings: Genesis 2:18-24; Ps 127:1-5;

 Hebrews 2:9-11; Gospel – Mark 10:2-16.

Theme: Christian Marriage: The Joy Of No Divorce!

Introduction

Beloved in the Lord, the focus of our liturgy this Sunday is on the beauty of Christian marriage. Our readings take us to the original plan of God for man to enjoy a permanent relationship in marriage which is open to offspring for the perpetuation of the human race. What is more, our reflection titled “Christian Marriage: The Joy Of No Divorce” argues in favour of equality of man and women before God, redirects our attention to God’s manual for Christian marriage as laid out by Christ in the gospel wherein he said, “what God has joined together, man must not divide.” We shall scan through the readings, examine the properties and ends of marriage as well as the functions of marriage and the family plus marriage killers and the dangers of divorce.

Background & Summary of the Readings

Today’s first reading (Genesis 2:18-24) presents God as a scientist who tests hypotheses to see what works best. Better put, it presents the Garden of Eden as a laboratory where God is a scientist who embarks on some randomized trials. To understand these hypotheses or randomized trials, it is important to highlight the first and second experiments:

1^st Experiment: In the first experiment, from the first account of creation (Gen. 1:1-31 & Gen. 2:3) creation takes six days and man and women were made after all pants and animals were created. God created all the beasts, birds of the air and the living creatures of the field and brought them for man to name. However, he could not find a fitting helper or partner for the man amidst all the other creatures. He knew that humans are social creatures who thrive in close and intimate relationships with others. God's first experimental was an attempt to resolve the deficit of community. As such, he resolved that man needed a helper since none of the animals could make up for the loneliness of the man.

2^nd Experiment: In the second account of creation (Gen. 2:4-17) which took only one day, man is created first followed by plants and animals and woman being the last to be created. God is painted as an anesthesiologist who causes the man to fall asleep after which, he acts like a surgeon by removing one of the man’s ribs to enclose it with flesh. Like a potter, builder, sculpture or architect, he “moulds” a woman and like a matchmaker, presents her to the man who exclaimed romantically and poetically:  “This at last is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh! This is to be called woman, for this was taken from man.” 

Notice that the woman is not given a personal name but simply called “isha” woman in Hebrew which means, taken from man as distinct from “ish” man. This means that God wanted to differentiate the woman from the man which sets the tune for differences in roles. The “helper” that God creates for the man does not insinuate that the woman is inferior to the man - it means mutuality and equality. It points to the fact that the woman is the one who would alleviate the isolation and aloneness of the man by a physical and spiritual bonding or unbreakable connection.

An important take-away from the reading is that we told that the two become one flesh although they are not yet "fruitful" – this implies that sexual intimacy is valued in and of itself, and not merely a means to reproduction. This is why scripture scholars opine that while today’s first reading begins with loneliness, it ends with intimate companionship. They contend that it is God who facilitates the companionship by acting various roles to enable that change. 

The climax of second experiment is that the man who was lonely and yearning for companionship now finds a fitting partner. This sets the ball rolling for the intimacy of the marriage bond where two become one flesh. They are naked but not ashamed, open to one another yet vulnerable, passionate and yet trusting.

In the second reading from the Letter to the Hebrews (Heb. 2:9-11), God calls us his brothers. It particularly notes that Christ endured his passion so as to bring us into the perfection of his sons and daughters in glory. The text reveals our union in Christ by stating that “the one who sanctifies and the one who are sanctified, are of the same stock.” This is much like a marriage relationship which requires covenantal love and fidelity. 

In the gospel text (Mark 10:2-16), some Pharisees who stood on the side of the law put Jesus to the test by asking his opinion concerning divorce. In responding to them, Jesus turns the discussion into the original plan of marriage in God’s plan. He also showed them how they manipulated the scripture and interpretative tradition to question their claim. After all, the Old Testament also condemned divorce (Malachi 2:13-16 & Genesis 2:24).

Jesus was “against those who initiate divorce as a means to get something else, sacrificing a spouse to satisfy one’s desires or ambitions.” He also wanted to expose the Pharisee’s who didn’t mention issuing a certificate of divorce to the woman which was necessary to quail rumours and give her opportunity to remarry. In a culture where a woman was seen as the property of her father and husband, Jesus wanted to emphasize the equality between husband and wife in the marriage relationship. By insisting that a man could commit adultery against a woman and not her father, Jesus wanted to teach that adultery is not a violation of the property of another man but a violation against sexual and emotional accountability to a partner in a marriage relationship. 

By welcoming children and blessing them, Jesus wanted to teach that every Christian marriage full be open to the possibility of having children. Since women and children had little or no rights in the New Testament times, Jesus wanted to protect the institution of marriage by discouraging divorce which makes children and women, young and vulnerable adults. 

Properties & Ends of Marriage 

The essential properties of marriage are unity and indissolubility (Cf. CIC, can. 1056; CCEO, can. 776 §3).

ü  Unity: This teaching has a biblical backing namely, “what God has joined together, men must not divide” (Mark 10:9) - Not even adultery or fornication can dissolve a validly contracted Christian marriage. The theology of these properties of marriage speaks of the deep and lasting union between a husband and wife as portrayed by Christ’s sacrificial love for the Church. To this end, Garland (2016) insists that Christian spouses are expected to “strive to nurture and foster their union in equal dignity, mutual giving and the undivided love that flows from the divine font of charity.” 

ü  Indissolubility: This teaching is based on “what God has joined together, no man must put asunder” (Matthew 19:6). It calls on couples to “persevere in good times and in bad, faithful in body and mind, remaining complete strangers to any adultery and divorce” (Garland, 2016).

The two ends of holy matrimony are, the procreation and education of children, and the union of the spouses: 

ü  Procreation and Education of Children: Couples must be open to the possibility of accepting children lovingly from God if he gives them. Having children is not a condition for marriage since it is God that gives them. However, when they come, they must be provided with food, clothing, shelter and education (civic and religious).

ü  Union of Spouses: The Church teaches that spiritual benefits are attached to being faithful to each other. To this end, couples ought to embrace and accept one another in faithful love while seeing their union as an opportunity to help each other become holy. As witnesses before all, couples have the responsibility of living out their state of matrimony daily in the light of the faith. This witness is not only to the dignity of holy matrimony, but also to the mystery of the union of Christ and the Church, to which it points, and so to the Christian faith as a whole. Matrimony is a natural institution which dates back to creation having been established by God which alone was not forfeited by punishment of original sin. 

Four Functions of Marriage (Family)

In Familiaris Consortio, (1981, No.17), Pope Saint John Paul II outlines the fourfold functions of the family as:

a). Forming a Community of Persons: As the first reading relates, man and woman were made to complement each other by forming a community of mutual love and fidelity.

b). Serving Life: The instructing “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” presupposes that couples should serve life by bearing children for the preservation of the human race. In this way, they become co-creators. 

c). Participating in the Development of Society: Parents have the responsibility of providing their children with civic and religious education so as to become useful members of the society and participate in the development of society.

d). Sharing in the Life and Mission of the Church: Since the home is the domestic Church, parents have the responsibility of bringing their children up in the way of the Lord by ensuring their children receive the sacraments and showing good example themselves by being part and parcel of the life of the parish.

Marriage Killers and the Dangers of Divorce

a). Single Parenthood: In a society that is increasingly influenced by the phenomenon of single parenthood as a product of westernization, many Africans are beginning to buy into the idea that marriage is not necessary. Sadly, many Christians are begging to think that raising kids as a single parent is more important than raising kids from the natural union of man and woman. Parents raised by single parents or grandparents do not enjoy the full maturity a child deserves. According to Psychologists, once a child is given birth to, he or she has a sentimental attachment to his mother. It is the responsibility of the father to come between the child and his or her mother to break that attachment by redirecting the child’s fantasies to things like ambition towards being self-reliant and independent. A child what grows without either father or mother misses affection from his mom and the sense of independence from his dad. In this sense, wilful or deliberate single parenthood is a killer of marriage.   

  

b). Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT): More than ever, guys couples are beginning to demand for rights to adopt children they don’t conceive. Clearly, the bible proscribes LGBT. However, the Church can approach these people with pastoral care - This is in so far as they don’t cease the opportunity to degrade marriage as the permanent union of man and woman with the possibility of having kids and being in a stable relationship towards building the domestic Church in the Christian family.  

c). Technology: Despite the many positive aspects of Information and Communications Technologies (ICT) and internet facilitated social media platforms, some couples are allowing television and mobile phones to destroy their relationship and marriage. Examples abound where a husband will have more time for football than his wife; or his wife having more time for chatting with her friends on Facebook or WhatsApp than talking to her husband.   

   

d). Divorce: The loftiness of marriage is gradually being dragged to the mud in our time by the increasing number of divorce cases. Some couples will wed in the Church on Saturday only to separate on Monday. What a scandal! Therefore, divorce, which our gospel today proscribes is a killer of marriage. 

e). Childlessness: Our first reading states that marriage is primarily for companion and secondly for raising children because it is God that grants children to whoever he wants. As such, absence of children is no excuse for divorce. Unfortunately, some Christians have taken to perpetual adultery or notorious concubinage because they feel their partner is responsible for the lack of children. Sometimes, if the woman gives birth to only females, the man blames her and begins to play games hoping for a male child. Perhaps we have forgotten that scientifically it has been proven that it is men who determine the sex of a child. Since the discovery of chromosomes in 1891, scientists hold that men have the X chromosome which determines the sex of a child while women have the Y chromosomes which are perceive. 

          

f). Infidelity: Another killer of marriage is infidelity. There have been arguments that men are more promiscuous in nature than men. Well, I don’t know how true this position is but what I do know is that more married men hang out with single ladies than married women with bachelors. What does that say to you?  

On the while, some of the dangers of divorce are, it destroys the permanency of the marriage union, it puts women at risk, it affects children in every way and it creates burden to society. 

Pastoral Application & Practical Lessons

1. Embracing Forgiveness: Couples are encouraged to forgive each other. In this way, quarrels and rancor would be minimized in families.

2. Sincerity & Openness: Bearing in mind that marriage is a sacred institution ordained by Christ, couples ought to be open with to each other especially as regards finances and the use of cell phones. For instance, when a woman operates a private bank account without the knowledge of her husband, there is bound to be trouble. Also, if the man uses family savings for personal dealings without his wife knowing it, this can cause serious trouble.  

3. Effective Communication: At heart of every marriage is effective communication. Most times, conflicts erupt in families due to lack of effective communication between its members. It is common place to find that either members of a family do not care to listen well to one another or they presume things that have not been said - a case of being paranoid. This causes conflicts.  

4. Economic & Financial Instability: It is crucial to provide basic necessities of life such as, food, water, shelter and clothing in the home. Where these are lacking, conflicts are inevitable.

5. Patience and Contentment: It is said that while a woman’s greatest fears is sharing her husband or his resources with another woman, a man’s greatest need is respect. These call for patience and contentment.

6. Prayer, Enhanced Sacramental Life & Involvement in Parish Life: Families that meet up with their Christian commitment to a life of prayer, frequenting the sacraments and involvement in parish activities often open the door for peace and blessings in their homes.    

7. Developing the Spirit of Sacrifice: Couples who are willing to make sacrifices for each other and their family often enjoy peace. Must problems occur at home because many family members are self-centered and not daring enough to work hard towards the emancipation of the family.

8. Keeping Family Secrets: Couples who learn how to solve their problems by not inviting a third are likely to have a blissful marriage. Divulging family secrets could crash your marriage.

9. Periodic for Counseling: Approaching the priest or parish office for counseling and direction when couples face challenges is key to a fulfilled union. Where this does not take place, you find Christians couples scandalously resorting to the police and courts for settlement of a matter that should have been handled by the Church.

10. Raising Godly Kids: Since children are a gift from God, parents ought to raise them according to the teaching of the Church especially as it regards faith and morals.

 

Homiletic Points to Remember

1. Today’s first reading (Genesis 2:18-24) presents God as a scientist who tests hypotheses to see what works best.

2. The text (second reading) reveals our union in Christ by stating that “the one who sanctifies and the one who are sanctified, are of the same stock.”

3. Jesus was “against those who initiate divorce as a means to get something else, sacrificing a spouse to satisfy one’s desires or ambitions.”

4. By welcoming children and blessing them, Jesus wanted to teach that every Christian marriage full be open to the possibility of having children.

5. Since women and children had little or no rights in the New Testament times, Jesus wanted to protect the institution of marriage by discouraging divorce which makes children and women, young and vulnerable adults. 

Conclusion

In conclusion, we are challenged to cherish the marriage institution and ensure its survival in our age. We are encouraged to pray for those who are not enjoying their marriages as a result of lack of children and other challenges in life, that through the celebration of this Holy Mass, God would make them smile again by giving them children and taking away their troubles. It behoves couples to form a community of persons, serve life, participate in the development of society and share in the life and mission of the Church.

What is more, Christian couples are charged to rededicate themselves to the properties of marriage which are unity and indissolubility. It is crucial for them to also put the ends of marriage namely unity and good of the spouses and the education of children in perspective while modeling their homes after the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph of Nazareth. Happy Sunday!